Melody Maker
by AubreenaGreen
Summary: Sirius gives Harry some unwanted girl advice. What sorts of hell could ensue? Sirius lives through Order of the Phoenix. Enjoy!


_Dear Sirius,_

_So... school is going pretty well, I suppose. However... there's this thing. No, scratch that. There's this girl. I... I don't want to name names yet, but I'll tell you more during our break._

_Um... How are you?_

_Harry_

"Remus!" Sirius called excitedly. "Remus, come here!"

The sound of footsteps could be heard as Remus Lupin made his way to Sirius's room in Grimmauld Place. "What is it?" he asked, panting slightly.

Sirius shoved Harry's letter into his friend's face, grinning from ear to ear. "Harry has a crush!"

Lupin inspected the letter carefully, and then turned back to Sirius, raising an eyebrow. "And?"

"Well," Sirius started. "I was thinking that maybe I could go-"

"_No_," Remus interrupted. "No, no, no, no, no. You _can't _go to Hogwarts, Sirius! Besides, Easter break is coming up in a few-"

"But Harry needs me!" Sirius protested, pouting.

"That doesn't mean you can just show up to his bloody school!" Lupin exclaimed. "You're still wanted! And... and there's a plethora of aurors there. Sirius, do you not realize how dangerous this is?"

"I'm going," Sirius announced, fishing around in his closet until he found what he was looking for: a few large white boards and a few magazines. Remus stared at him in disbelief.

"Sirius, you're _not _going," Lupin argued as Sirius proceeded to shrink his items and place them into his pocket. "Someone is going to find you, and you'll be killed or put back into Azkaban! You have about as much stealth as a troll."

"But _Remus_!" Sirius pouted.

"_No_," Remus stated firmly. "I swear, Sirius. I will take your wand if I need to."

"Remus!" he exclaimed, instinctively clutching his back pocket where his wand was currently resting.

"_Sirius_! No! Harry is back in three days anyways," Lupin reasoned.

Sirius slowly lowered himself to the ground until he was on his knees, hands clasped together. "Please, Moony?"

* * *

**Three Days Later**

Harry waved goodbye to Ron and Hermione, before running up to Lupin and his "pet dog".

"Harry!" Remus exclaimed, engulfing the dark-haired boy in a hug. "How are you? How has school been?"

Harry shrugged. "It's been moderately... moderate," he replied with a nervous grin.

"Sounds thrilling," Lupin responded sarcastically before apparating the three of them to Grimmauld Place.

As soon as they had arrived, however, Sirius was back to his human form, and dragging a surprised and confused Harry up to his room. "Seriously, Sirius?!" he asked.

Sirius paused and turned to look at his godson with a grin. "Yes," he replied before returning to pulling him up the stairs.

They finally reached his bedroom, and Sirius flung Harry onto his bed before closing the door, turning with his back pressed against it to look at the poor, frightened boy with a malicious grin.

Harry gulped in fear, unsure of what was to happen next. To his surprise, his godfather opened his closet and pulled out a brown book, flipping through the pages until he found the one he desired. Plopping down on the squeaky bed next to Harry, he began to talk.

"So Harry," he began. "When a witch and a wizard love each other very much-"

"NO!" Harry bellowed, jumping up from the bed. "No, we are _not _having this conversation!"

"But I brought diagrams!" Sirius protested.

"What the- Where the bloody hell is this even coming from?!" he shouted

Sirius looked at a slight loss for words. "You..." he stuttered. "In your letter-"

"In my letter, did I ever once mention trying to sleep with her?!" Harry demanded, fuming in embarrassment.

"But Harry," Sirius reasoned. "You _are _sixteen; perhaps it's time."

"Mrs. Weasley already gave me the talk, though!" Harry whined.

"Yes, but she did not give you the _Marauder _sex talk," Sirius pointed out, raising his eyebrows.

"WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?!" Harry shouted, red-faced.

"Harry, Harry," Sirius said calmly. "There's all the difference in the _world_!"

Harry sighed in defeat, sitting back down. He knew he could not win against his stubborn guardian.

"Now," Sirius began, changing the subject. "Since you've already gone over the basics, let's move on to something you most likely haven't learned about yet: positions!"

Harry groaned.

* * *

"And this one is called the melody maker," Sirius said, pointing to yet another scarring picture that would be forever implanted in Harry's mind.

"Padfoot, what are you doing to the poor boy?"

Harry had never in his life been more happy to hear the sound of his old professor's voice until right then.

"Moony, I'm just teaching Mr. Potter about the birds and the bees," Sirius replied calmly.

"And the melody makers," Harry muttered under his breath. He glanced up at Lupin with pleading eyes. "Please," he begged, clasping his hands together. "Please, save me from this madness!"

Remus turned to his friend. "I thought you said you were just giving him girl advice."

Sirius shrugged. "It is advice! Of a sort," he replied with a dramatic wink in Harry's direction. Harry rolled his eyes.

Lupin placed his hands on his hips in a way that oddly reminded Harry of Mrs. Weasley. "Sirius, why don't you give this boy some _real _advice, or just leave him alone!"

Sirius rolled his eyes before turning back to his godson. "You want some real advice?" he asked rhetorically. "How about this: don't be an arse like your father."

After a slight pause, Remus looked up thoughtfully. "Yes," he agreed. "I suppose that is good advice."

"Then why don't you use it and go ask out Nymphy?!" Sirius bellowed, turning back to Remus.

Lupin turned bright red in surprise, at a sudden loss for words.

"Nymphy?" Harry asked suspiciously. "As in... Tonks?"

In the blink of an eye, Remus was out of the room in embarrassment.

"Well," Sirius said, turning back to Harry. "Where were we?"

"Sirius, this is ridiculous!" Harry exclaimed. "Can't you just give me some useful advice on how to get Ginny to like me?!"

Sirius paused. "Ginny?" he asked, a look of surprise plastered on his features.

Harry buried his face in his hands, falling onto his side. "Bollocks," he mumbled, his head resting in the bed sheets.

To Harry's shock and embarrassment, Sirius began to laugh. Grunting, he lifted his head from his arms to see his godfather in fits of laughter, his face red.

"This... is... just... _perfect_!" Sirius exclaimed, clapping his hands together.

"Yeah... well... shut up," Harry grumbled to himself.

* * *

The last day before Easter break was over, Hermione and the Weasleys (aside from Percy, Bill, and Charlie) were all coming to Grimmauld Place, along with Lupin and Tonks (but not together, of course), for a large dinner.

Pretty soon, everyone was there. Mrs. Weasley was in the kitchen, fighting with Sirius about who-knows-what. Lupin and Tonks were sitting on one of the love seats, talking awkwardly with about as much space as they could manage between them. Hermione, Ron, Fred, and George were playing a round of Exploding Snap. Mr. Weasley was sitting on a large armchair, reading a muggle magazine.

Harry, however, only had eyes for one person.

Ginny was currently inspecting a few of the old portraits hung around the house, when she caught Harry staring at her. She forced a smile and waved awkwardly, because how else is one supposed to respond to that?

Harry couldn't take it anymore. Screw Roger Davies. Screw Dean Thomas. He was taking Sirius's _actual _girl advice and going for it. He wasn't over-thinking it; he was just living in the moment.

So he started making his way towards her. It started as a slow walk, but soon turned into a jog. The twenty feet that had been in between them felt like miles, until, finally, he made it.

And then he kissed her.

* * *

Sirius, Harry, and Ginny were the only three people left in the house after the dinner, as Ginny wanted to stay a little longer. In other words, she wanted more time to make out with Harry in his room, which would have been all jolly and well if Sirius hadn't been in one of the rooms directly next to them.

In as "subtle" a way as possible, Sirius poked his head into Harry's room. "Harry," he whispered as he and Ginny were snogging each other senseless. "Don't forget the melody maker!"

Harry broke away. "Sirius!" he exclaimed, throwing a pillow at his godfather. "Get out!"

"Okay, okay, I'm leaving!" Sirius announced, raising his hands in surrender. "However," he continued with a grin. "Do tell me if you have any problems with your... wand."

Harry turned bright red, but Ginny started laughing. "Ginny!" he cried in exasperation.

"I don't know," she quipped, grinning back at Sirius. "Eleven inches of pure, hard wood. What could go wrong with that?"

Harry's eyes widened in disbelief. "I hate my life," he moaned as his girlfriend and godfather laughed at his expense. "Ok, well, I'm just going to go jump off a cliff now," Harry announced, beginning to exit the room, when Ginny grabbed his wrist.

"Oh, no you're not," she said, placing her lips back on his.

Harry instinctively closed his eyes, but opened one to see Sirius grinning at him, giving him a thumbs-up. Harry returned with a slightly different gesture, and then waved him away in dismissal.

As he gripped Ginny's waist, he started thinking to himself, _I definitely owe Sirius for this one. Big time._

* * *

**And there you have it.**

**Written for the Quidditch League Round Two  
Position: Keeper  
Team: Pride of Portree  
Prompt: Write about friendship between eras. Friendship: Sirius/Harry**

**Written for the Harry Potter Day Competition  
****Golden Trio Era  
****Not a bad word count**

**Hope you liked it!**

**~Aubreena**


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